Carter Louis at 1 year, 7 months, and 24 days old

My littlest big love. Carter Louis, my mischievous, but sweet little man.



You are a shark...always moving, and always eating.

You LOVE music and dancing. You do the cutest high step/march type dance, and applaud for yourself with the most enthusiasm I've ever seen.

You babble all day long.

You are the most ticklish human being I have ever met. Ever. And with that, comes the best laugh ever. Your laugh could make anyone happy. If I can hear that laugh once a day for the rest of my life, I will forever be fulfilled.

You love to play chase! You are the fastest little baby. You also love playing "go to sleep/wakeup!", counting, and trying to help mommy with the laundry.

You adore your brother, your cousins, and your dog. You would follow Franklin to the ends of the earth, and you accept his dog breath kisses with an open mouth and heart.

You plant kisses on your family willingly. You give huge hugs and pat us when you hug. Sometimes, you bite, but Memere especially is convinced they are excited kisses.

You love picking up Landon and Amelie from school. You insist on walking with them and holding their hands.

Just like big brother, you love all things trucks, and are showing us you also love trains and sports too.

You've tried to peepee on the potty when landon does. You've done it once, but mostly just stand there with your little belly poking out saying "peeps" and it is the cutest thing.

Memere knitted you a pillow when you were born, which you now affectionately call PoPo, and face plant into it when it is time for bed. You rub and bite the corners. It is off white, but I am certain will be brown soon no matter how often I wash it. It is well loved.

You used to hate the car seat and long car rides, but ever since you got your ear tubes, you've loved the car.

Speaking of tubes, you are such a brave little guy. You've had 2 surgeries and 1 big booboo resulting in surgical glue  already your short life, and while you've worried mommy and daddy, you've never failed to show us how strong you are. Your big brother made me a mommy, but you've given me so much confidence and appreciation as a mother. I know you will be ok. And I appreciate you so much for that.

You don't say many words, but you certainly know how to show us what you need.

You wake up singing. We listened to you sing for a while this morning, and quietly laughed and cried to ourselves....you make us so happy!

You have so much love to give in your little soul. I have never, not once, questioned how much you love each one of us. You make us each feel so loved and so special every single moment of each day. I hope and pray that you realize that you are loved even more. I find myself squeezing you extra tight, in hopes that you can feel that love.

You have made your big brother so happy. He welcomed you with open arms, protects you fiercely, and loves you more than anything. He would do anything for you.

You are so special, Carter Louis. I love learning more about who you are each day.

How long will I love you? As long as stars are above you...and longer if I may.

Landon at 4 years, 1 month, and 7 days old

Landon, Landon, Landon.

The sweetest boy there ever was. The best friend. My Tenderheart Lion (any 1980s Care Bear Cousin fans out there?)

At 4 years old, your absolute favorite things are trucks and all things construction, the color orange (with green as a close second), the number six, your baby brother, your daddy, and your "crew".

You love salty snacks and prune juice.

You hate cold sheets...soft fleece sheets are where it's at for you. You hate sleeping with socks on.

You always sleep with Momo (rubbing the "better" ears), Ellie, and Rubble.

You are HILARIOUS. And I mean that. You have your dads wit and quick responses. You make people stop in their tracks with your hilarious ways.

You are shy, and wary of others, but once you get to know people, you are all in. 

You are genuine.

You are my helper boy. 

You have a way of speaking with your head and using your hands that is adorable. You also say words like "yogrit" and "togedder", and I will cry when you say them the "right" way.

You are incredibly smart. Your memory is unlike anyone's I have ever met. You apply everything you learn immediately in your life. 

You have the most beautiful little voice, but rarely sing. When you do sing, it moves me to tears...and when you sing "sunshine" to Carter, he immediately stops crying. 

You ask fantastic questions. Mommy and Daddy will continue to learn because of you.

You have the most FORGIVING heart. I am not a perfect mommy, and you accept my faults. 

You truly appreciate the beauty in the world around you. 

You make me grateful for every single second I have with you.

You are my dream come true, a gift to all around you.

I wish time would slow down just a little bit. If I could, I would go back to your baby self just to hold you longer. But, I just love seeing you grow and learning who you are. Each day just gets better with you. 

We love you, Landon. Always, always, always....forever and ever and ever.

Welcome to Our World

As a mother to two boys, I often think about how the choices my husband and I make during their childhood will effect the men they become. I want my boys to grow up learning to be gentlemen, while accepting women as their equals. I want them to be kind and accepting, but never to be perceived as weak.  I want them to be confident, without being arrogant. There are many more things I want and envision for them, but most importantly, I want them to be happy, and always feel loved beyond measure.

Being a parent is the best kind of hard there is. There are thousands of blogs and articles out there representing this. Through my personal experience, I've realized that being the best parent to my sons, means being the best me that I can be. This does not always come easy for me. I fall prey to laziness, selfishness, anxieties and greed more often than not. I've decided to blog in an effort to find peace with myself... To create a better relationship with myself...to be kinder to myself...to challenge myself to be better, and to take moments out of everyday to appreciate the joy, and document it. I want my boys to be able to look back and see how wonderful they have made this life for me... For us.  Children have the incredible talent to make a routine day extraordinary... If they can't remember some of these days, I want them to be able to look back and see the joy they have filled the world around them with.

Jamal and I have recently experienced some difficult life events, which have been an unfortunate reminder that each day on this earth is not promised.  And while that mere fact terrifies me and is a source of many anxieties for me (and I am sure every other human being on this planet), I want this blog to serve as a reminder of how great each day has been.

This will be my personal outlet, but I invite our family and friends to read along and communicate with us through this arena.  I am a blog reader and lover.  Unlike many of the blogs I follow, my photos will be imperfect, my house a mess, and I will rarely be a fashion maven. But I hope that if you stumble across this space, a piece of it will bring you happiness.

And to my main man and my two little men... Thank you for choosing me. I love our life.